Tuesday, January 30, 2007


ignominy

sometimes i wish i was a ghost, so that i cannot hurt you anymore.

Monday, January 29, 2007


they just couldn't agree...

am i too far out or are you too far in?

Thanks to ImageShack for Free Image Hosting

what a day

har! i'm the dedicated driver of the day.

spent the whole day driving my parents around to settle their stuff. it started at noon, apollo center being our first stop to pick up the air tickets for my ah ma's maid who is leaving tomorrow. after which we picked up the maid from my ah ma's house in bedok before going to tampines mall to do some "farewell" shopping. and boy did we buy a lot. in between i made a short detour to the tampines stadium to buy the tickets for the Asean Football Championships final on wednesday. then it was back to my ah ma's house to supervise the maid's packing. and i just got home.

and i still have to fetch my sis home from work in an hour's time. uggh. so tired. been driving most of today.

and i was suppose to be studying marketing. ha! but driving beats studying marketing any time any day man!

Sunday, January 28, 2007


it ends tonight

yeah i know my past few posts have been dampening. i can't help it. i'm just emo. but thank God that He has pulled me through. sleepless nights, wandering thoughts, late night messages to my closest friends seeking solace from them. it's all got to end and i know sooner rather than later is better. but it's just so hard when it comes to executing it.

a few of my friends have been looking to me for advice too about their relationship and when i listen to them, the solution seems so easy but i know to be able to do it, it takes a mammoth effort. and i'm glad some of us who are recently romantically deceased are moving on. that's a good sign. i want to move on too. ally told me, 6 months is a long time. but my heart has not yet found the peace i am yearning for. would closure do me any good? if you hate me, would it make it any easier? i think so, i wish so.

and i know i have said this many times before but i have to say it yet again. thank you for all my friends who have offered a listening ear to me. they say a friend is one who comes in when the rest of the world goes out. and there have been many people who have come in for me in my time of need. xd, sel, kevin, jeff, ally, athena, sab, spencer, thank you all so much. you have been there for me when the walls were closing in on me and i hope to be able to reciprocate it when you need a shoulder to depend on. this goes out to all my other friends as well.

anyway the few of us went to watch the singapore asean football championship match yesterday at the national stadium and we had a really good time, yelling, cursing, screaming at the malaysians. it was really nice to see a full house of 55,000 all cheering on the national team in unison and i haven't seen such support from the fans in a long while. even the papers were gushing about the fans instead of the players!

the first half ended goaless and play was generally dictacted by singapore though malaysia did sporadically threatened our goal. the music played during half time was "it ends tonight" by all american rejects and i was praying it would not turn out to be our jinx song. to not qualify for the final in front of the home crowd would be unthinkable.

however lionel lewis mishandled a testing shot from one of the malaysian and the ball went under him and trickled into the goal. my heart just sank and that stupid malaysian, who wouldn't have scored if not for lionel's error, had the cheek to put his finger to his lips, indicating the crowd to keep silent. asshole.

but we had our moment when a cross came in from bennett to alam shah who tried to stab the ball into goal only to see the pony tailed malaysian keeper deflect it outward. we thought the moment was lost but ridhuan was at the right place at the right time to slam the rebound pass the keeper.

you should have seen it. kallang erupted and the waves were back. someone shouted "tsunami". the fightback was amazing. singapore would go on to take the attacking initiative but failed to break the deadlock even after 30 mins of extra time.

so it was down to the penalties and after 5 perfect shots from singapore, and 4 from malaysia, the last player buckled under the enormous pressure from the home crowd to miss as chants of "miss! miss! miss!" reverberated through the stadium.

the bench got up, the stadium screamed with joy as make shift confetti from torn up posters flew into the air. singapore were in the finals. and have discovered how passionate their fans were.

i just can't wait for the finals. whoever wants to go, please tell me in advance so i can get tickets!

Saturday, January 27, 2007


disenchanted

i simply hate the moment when i lay on the bed just before i slumber, where my mind is blank and starts to wander, reflecting on all my mistakes, regrets, insecurities and loss, which are keeping me from sleeping soundly.

Thursday, January 25, 2007


last night

last night

something came over me late last night
something i have never experienced before
something to put everything into perspective
something that jolted me out of my comfort zone

i tried to get some rest
but the walls just kept closing in
and there was a fear in my breath
a fear i have never knew

it used to be i was afraid of dying
afraid of losing everyone and everything i know
afraid of wasting this life away
but i got over that fear

i don't fear death anymore
cos i know there is a better place after that
a wonderful place

and yesterday
it just dawned on me
would i be alone?
my family is unsaved
my friends are non believers
what am i doing?

yes i know of the parable of the vineyard owner
where the first is the last, and the last first
that there is still time
if only there is hope
and persistence

it is a gift to be on this earth
and i should be going forth to spread
the very message of salvation that i have received
though it's not easy
and people will despise me
because of my faith
but i will still try
or would i?

dear God
i pray that this life of mine
on this earth would not be wasted
i pray that You use my life
to portray to others the Christian
that You want me to be
and want others to be touched by.
surround me as i speak
for i am weak
and much smaller than the task that lies ahead
dear God
never forsake me
help me make my life on earth fruitful
and bring glory to Your name.
teach me to number my days
for the measure of my days are short
and teach me to live in a way
that finds favour in Your sight
all these i pray in Your Son's most precious name

Amen.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


love is in the air

love is in the air.
not for me, but for quite a number of friends i know.
the government must be proud.
they achieved their aim.
well at least half of it.
goh chok tong and lee hsien loong are probably trading high fives at the istana now.

it's the 7th couple among my friends that are tying the knot in their early twenties.
the trend seems to be back.
people are getting married younger once again.
next up, we'll bring back the hippie days.
so the government can accomplish their long term aim
of raising the population number
to support the income tax base they so desire in the future.

i'm sorry PM Lee
i haven't done my part
even though a song i know says
"you and me, we'll do our part"
it's not that i haven't been trying
i thought i would get married young
but it seems so distant now

and no i will never be part of your pro gay revolution
it's not my path to take
i'll just fix my eyes and get up
and be on another way

i have after all been through the hardest part
and that was leaving her
when someone tells you
"i don't love you like i did yesterday"
you know what just got to be done

so i better get up while i can

thank you for your time PM Lee.

your citizen in favour of pro creation,
derrick poh.



PS: Did you parents intend to call you "boring dragon"? Kinda cruel, ain't it?

Monday, January 22, 2007


author unknown

This is the beginning of a New Day.
God has given me this day to use as I will.
I can waste it or grow in its light
and be of service to others.

But what I do with this day
is important because...
I have exchanged a day of my life for it.
When tomorrow comes,
Today will be gone forever.

I hope I will not regret the price I paid for it.

the story of john connally

I'm quite sure not many of us have heard of John Connally, nor heard of the things he has endured in his life.

John B. Connally was born at Floresville, Texas, on 27th February, 1917. He graduated from the University of Texas with a law degree, afterwhich, he joined the staff of Lyndon B. Johnson as legislative assistant. He soon took part in politics and was appointed as the Secretary of the Navy by then President John F. Kennedy. He held the post until being elected Governor of Texas in January, 1963.

One afternoon in November 1963, JFK had planned to visit the state of Texas which Conally was governor of. It was decided that Kennedy and his party, including his wife, Jacqueline Kennedy, Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson, Governor John Connally and Senator Ralph Yarborough, would travel in a procession of cars through the business district of Dallas. A pilot car and several motorcycles rode ahead of the presidential limousine.

As well as Kennedy the limousine included John Connally, his wife Nellie Connally, Roy Kellerman, head of the Secret Service at the White House and the driver, William Greer. The next car carried eight Secret Service Agents. This was followed by a car containing Johnson and Yarborough.

At about 12.30 p.m. the presidential limousine entered Elm Street. Soon afterwards shots rang out. John Kennedy was hit by bullets that hit him in the head and the left shoulder. Another bullet hit John Connally in the back. Ten seconds after the first shots had been fired the president's car accelerated off at high speed towards Parkland Memorial Hospital.

Both men were carried into separate emergency rooms. Connally had wounds to his back, chest, wrist and thigh. Kennedy's injuries were far more serious. He had a massive wound to the head and at 1 p.m. he was declared dead.

Connally went on to make a full recovery but apart from his physical wounds, there was also the psychological trauma that he endured.

A life-threatening experience has a way of rearranging one’s priorities. That was true in the lives of former Texas Governor John Connally and his wife after he was wounded by the assassin who took the life of President John F. Kennedy in 1963.

In an interview after he had recovered, Connally explained,

"As far as Nellie and I are concerned, ... it inevitably brought into sharper focus what’s really important in life. ... We try not to participate in things that are shallow or in the long run meaningless."





Now let's re-evaluate our lives. What are the things that we are currently doing in our lives that we find so important right now that we cannot put it down for a moment?

Studies?
Work?
Earning as much as you possibly can?
Being able to hit the high score in a game?
Being able to have as many partners as possible?
Being able to enjoy life to the fullest?

If we were told that we had only weeks to live (JFK didn't enjoy this luxury), I'm sure we would lead a very different lifestyle from the one we are currently in today.

I for one, would not be playing that much games, or be on the computer for that matter, and would instead focus on building relationships with the people around me, telling them how important they are to me, and how much I love them. And I would also want to be spiritually rich and be able to be the Christian that I ought to be. To quote Connally, let's not participate in things that are shallow, or in the long run meaningless.

What about you?
How would your lifestyle be different if the measure of your days are short?

Sunday, January 21, 2007


~Work~

just in case
i will leave my things packed
so i can run away
i cannot trust these voices

i don't have a line of prospects
that can give some kind of peace
there is nothing left to cling to
that can bring me sweet release

i have no fear of the drowning
it's the breathing that's taking all this work

do you know
what i mean
when i say
i don't want to be alone?

empty spaces
shadows hit by street lights
and warning signs
and weight of tired conversations

in the absence of a shoulder
in the abscess of a thief
on the brink of this destruction
on the eve of bittersweet

now all the demons look like prophets
and i live out every word they speak
every word they speak!!

do you know
what i mean
when i say
i don't want to be alone?

do you know
what i mean
when i say
i don't want to be alone??

i have no fear of the drowning
it's the breathing that's taking all this work


music and words by jars of clay

Saturday, January 20, 2007


the story about the neighbours

there was once a neighbour's son came into my house to play the afternoon away. he was bored and there was no one at home to play with him. not wanting to reject his request, i decided to let him in to keep himself entertained.

he went home just before dinnertime when his parents came back and i thought to myself, what a nice young man he'll turn out to be. but to my astonishment, his parent came knocking on my door soon after, and in a harsh tone, demanded to know why i let their son waste the day away. unknown to me, he was supposedly suppose to be grounded, they added.

i was flabbergasted! how was i suppose to know he was grounded and was suppose to complete the homework he has? no one told me a thing!

his parents was in a rage, and even decided not to invite my family and i to the birthday party that they were going to have for the boy next week. a cold front was developing. at the rate it was going, i think they might even not invite us over for the chinese new year, a tradition that we have since we became neighbours.

needless to say, we were saddened by their decision. but we weren't going to let this little thing bother us. their decision just demonstrates the level of neighbourliness that they have.

haiz, can't believe how things can turn in a blink of an eye over the smallest of issues.

so what's your next move, thailand?

Wednesday, January 17, 2007


the pros and cons of driving

Pros:

1) It's a chick magnet*.

2) It saves you travelling time.^

3) Accessibility to hard to reach places is greatly increased. Think of all those romantic ulu places!

4) Your status will be enhanced. Mother-in-laws will look at you in a different light.

5) You can blast your favourite songs as loud as you like in your car without disturbing anyone.



Cons:

1) You can't look at girls on the MRT or buses.




Verdict:
After weighing the pros and cons, I declare that it is more advantageous for me not to drive. At least I can steal a peek at the girls and share a ride with them on the way to school. If I drive, I'd be alone!!







* Varies from model to model
^ Depend on the size of your gut to speed

Monday, January 15, 2007


david vs goliath, only this time goliath thrashed david to bits.

SINGAPORE 11 LAOS 0

Yes. E-L-E-V-E-N. You read it right.

After a slow start, Singapore opened the floodgates in the 10th minute after a goalkeeping error by the Laotian, Sengphachan Bounthisanh. No way in the world was Ridhuan gonna pass up that opportunity as he swung his body around to lash home the opening goal. Tampines' hero Noh Alam Shah got on to the act as well as he headed pass the flapping arms of the Laotian number 1 for Singapore's second goal barely a minute later. To say it was an indication of more things to come from him was a gross understatement. He added to Singapore's tally making it 3 in the 24th minute after a beautifully flighted ball from Ridhuan Muhd. was knocked down by Shi Jia Yi into Alam Shah's path. It was game over for Laos at this time and the Laotian number 1 made way for his deputy keeper to gain some match experience. And boy, did he gained a lot.

Barely a minute into the second half, Shahril Ishak slotted in the fourth of the night for the Lions and it showed Singapore's plan for the next 45 minutes. Go for goals was the call from the home crowd and Alam Shah obliged, picking up his first international hat trick on the way in the 61st minute. Despair was written all over the Laotian players but to be fair, they are a really young team and this will add to their experience more than anything.

The next 10 minutes was pure madness for Laos where fatigue took over and they loss all sense of direction, like a rudderless ship in a stormy sea. The Laotian keeper picked up the ball from the back of his net a total of 4 times within this time span as goals flew in from all direction from Khairul Amri, Itimi Dickson and twice from (gush) Alam Shah. I have never seen so many crosses into the opponent's box by the Singapore team before. Neither have I seen them covert that many chances from it. The sad truth was that they could have gotten more had it not been poor finishing from Khairul Amri. At the end of the madness, the score board read 9-0. But the crowd were not about to let Singapore off just yet.

"We want ten!!" they roared. But it took a while for it to arrive. When it finally did in the 88th minute, guess who was at the end of it. You guessed it. Singapore's new record breaker Noh Alam Shah, who is the first Singaporean to score a double hat trick! The rout was complete. Double figures for the first time in a long while for Singapore. What an amazing match.

But it didn't end there. Fittingly with the last kick of the match, Alam Shah wowed the crowd with an almost gravity defying scissors kick which ricochet off the underside of the crossbar and trickled into the net for goal number 11.

A wonderful show of team play by Singapore, with Bennett flying down the left flank ever so often, Precious being the rock in the defence along side Baihakki, Shi Jia Yi dictating play in the middle of the field while Fahrudin made the crunching tackles that stopped Laos in their tracks, Ridhuan Muhd. making runs from the right flank, Indra being the creative force in the advanced midfield position in the second period, Alam Shah knocking in a whopping 7 goals. And one badly executed somersault by Itimi Dickson. Was Lionel Lewis even playing? I couldn't tell! What better way to go into the match against Indonesia on Wednesday! And what better advertisement for Singapore soccer!!

Let's hope we carry the same attitude into Wednesday's game!



Summary:

Singapore 11
Ridhuan Muhd 10
Noh Alam Shah 11, 24, 61, 72, 76, 88, 92
Shahril Ishak 47
Khairul Amri 71
Itimi Dickson 79

Laos 0

Sunday, January 14, 2007


Love is..

Love is patient, love is kind
It does not envy, it does not boast
it is not proud, it is not rude
it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered
it keeps no record of wrongs

Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth
It always protects, always trusts
always hopes, always perseveres

Love never fails.
But where there are prophecies,
they will cease
Where there are tongues,
they will be stilled
Where there is knowledge,
it will pass away

For we know in part
and we prophesy in part
but when perfection comes,
the imperfection disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child

When I became a man,
I put my childish ways behind me

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror
then we shall see face to face
Now I know in part
then i shall know fully
even as I am fully known

And now these three remains
faith, hope and love
But the greatest of all these
is love


1 Corinthians 13: 4-13

Saturday, January 13, 2007


ngg ba and the early morning visit to the vet

nng ba got injured. guess the new bird that my dad caught at the beginning of the week was too much excitement for him. jumping and chirping to compete with it, nng ba probably tweaked (no pun intended) a ligament. now his left talon is injured and swelling. poor thing. he has been leaning on his right side, standing on one foot for the whole week already.


so poor thing right? lob-sided all day long

the vet couldn't do anything about it. no x-ray possible, no operation conducted, all she could do was to give him some anti biotics. i guessed as much. i was wondering the night before if the vet could even do anything about it, besides collecting a handsome fee from us. the bird is after all so small and tiny. my dad had to even catch the bird out of the cage for it to get inspected. and my sis told me that it was squealing in fear and pain. heart wrenching right?

all this while i was outside, checking out the babes who brought their pets to the vet. you won't believe how many babes own pets man! it's like, wheee, my wonderland just sitting at the vet, pretending to look at their pets, while admiring their owners instead.

maybe i should own a dog. then i can bring it to the vet, just to sit outside, on the pretext of letting it mingle around with other dogs. then i can mingle with the owners! heh heh heh!! or a cheaper alternative would be to borrow my friend's dogs. so many of them own dogs anyway and i'm sure they would love to have someone help bring them to the vet.. heh heh heh!! but i'm sure the owners there will see through my act the moment we start talking about dogs -- cos i know nuts about them!!

the only thing i know about them is that they taste good.
















nah, just kidding.

Friday, January 12, 2007


~My Heart~

i am finding out
that maybe i was wrong
that i've fallen down
and i can't do this alone

stay with me
this is what i need
please?

sing us this song
and we'll sing it back to you
we could sing our own
but what would it be without you?

i am nothing now
and it's been so long
since i heard the sound
the sound of my only hope

this time i will be listening

sing us this song
and we'll sing it back to you
we could sing our own
but what would it be without you?

this heart, it beats, beats for only you
this heart, it beats, beats for only you
this heart, it beats, beats for only you
my heart is yours..

please don't go now
please don't fade away


words and music by paramore

death of a martian

today was just one of those days where if i could, i would just stay home and waste the day away. there was nothing in me that wanted to do anything at all after her revelation yesterday. yes, i have known for a fact that it was near impossible for us to ever go back to what we were. but i never expected so soon that someone would woo her and the thought of the possibility of her being with another guy so soon after breaking up is just killing me from the inside, slowly.

if there was anything to learn from whatever that has happened in the last few months, i hope i bloody see it soon, clearly.

sab recommended me a book a few months back. it was the famous "Men Are From Mars and Women Are From Venus", a help book about relationships and why men and women are often on different frequencies. i guess for a while it did help me a little, especially just after the breakup. i did realise why sometimes i can never seem to get her point, and other times why she gets so fed up with me. but i guess it's all too little too late now.

i have since given up on reading that book though. the more i read, the sadder i get because there was nothing i could do about the situation now. friends at most, but i'll be happy for her if she does get together with the guy. i can only give them my blessings and wish for happiness for them.

this martian has died. but i'm sure he didn't go to martian heaven cos it sure doesn't feel like heaven where i am now.

Thursday, January 11, 2007


~Franklin~

~Slip~

i can't believe
that i was capable
to let an angel slip
right through my palm

and land, hurting herself
and to pick her up again
is nothing but impossible

a chance gone by
of happiness lost
and i'm afraid that i
might hurt myself again
or hurt another angel

the torment it tosses
around like an ocean
over and over
wave upon wave

the guilt just like vultures
above us circling
over and over
around and around

over and over
over and it's over
to you

so put on the fake smiles now
act like nothing's happen
though no safety net
is big enough to catch me
from this heavy fall

the bruises i've got
are all stories to tell of
just waiting for someone
a listening ear

cos the torment it tosses
around like an ocean
over and over
wave upon wave

the guilt just like vultures
above us circling
over and over
around and around

and it's midnight where i am
no snow in my wonderland
hoping where you are
is a bright sunny day

cos the torment it tosses
around like an ocean
over and over
wave upon wave

the guilt just like vultures
above us circling
over and over
around and around

over and over
over and over
over and over
and it's over to you


words and music by: derrick poh

Wednesday, January 10, 2007


The Great Liverpool Knockout Sale

That's right folks, step right up for the Great Liverpool Knockout Sale!

We have goals specially shipped in from exotic places like Brazil, France and Czech Republic all going at a RIDICULOUS RATE!!

Goals from corners, goals from simple one-twos, goals that slipped right under our keeper, YOU NAME IT, WE'VE GOT IT!

Players with confidence MASSIVELY REDUCED!!

UNBELIEVABLE Score lines!! 6-3!!! 3-1!!! Take your pick!!

MIND BOGGLING formations and line ups that no one can understand!!

These line ups are NEVER TO BE REPEATED!!
Even our manager has his hands in his head!!

Grab them WHILE STOCKS LAST!!

SPECIAL ITEMS:
Fowler -- 80% OFF his former abilities!!!
Hyypia -- 60% OFF his pace!!!
Gerrard -- 40% OFF hunger!!!
Dudek here today, gone probably tomorrow!!

So hurry up folks, wait no longer cos the Great Liverpool Knockout Sale has everything you need!!!

the scoreline that takes some believing

LIVERPOOL 3 ARSENAL 6
screamed the score board!

thank god i decided to stay up for the match though it was at an unearthly timing of 340am. those who stayed up to watch the match between liverpool and arsenal were rewarded with a total of 9 goals! an amazing return for a match starring two premiership sides.

julio baptista scored an amazing 4 goals even though he missed a penalty and this from a guy who has yet to make his impact on english football. can't imagine what it'll be like when he finally gains an understanding with his teammates.

besides regulars like cesc fabregas, toure and alumunia (who in my opinion is more trustworthy than lehmann), the youngsters made up the rest of the team and it was nice to see what the future holds for arsenal. armand traore is beginning to show shades of gael clichy with his constant runs down the left channel while djourou showed what a really hard tackling center back he can be. in fact, between him and senderos the clown, i would pick him. at least he shows more confidence. denilson also made a good impression. though he's more of a center midfielder, wenger chose to play him on the right flank and he did really well there.

the same can't be said of aliardiere though. i think he has been given enough chances to show what he is capable of but with his regular visits to the treatment table and the fact that there are so many better strikers than him in the squad, i think perhaps it is time for him to move on to get more regular football.

anyway well done kids, bring on tottenham and show them what you can do!!

Sunday, January 07, 2007


PICK FROM THE PICS

Hello and welcome to PICK FROM THE PICS!! And in this week's show, have we got a collection for you. all these funny pics are from our trip to batam over the weekend we are now collecting votes to decide which of the pics are the funniest!

Here are the top 4 nominations!

Nomination A: The Escape

With a body like this, can you escape from it?? Ooo.. your body is a wonderland!



Nomination B: Lickity Lick

Not only has he the sexiest body around, he's apparently very good with all those little movements too!



Nomination C: Hungry Girl!!

Oh boy, look at her go! So hungry and starving she is, she just sinks her teeth into that toast. wooo!



Nomination D: Gao Steals The Limelight

It was supposed to be a normal boat ride from the island, but nothing is normal when Gao's around. Here. he tries to steal the limelight from the rest of the guys posing behind him.



So there you have it, the best four pictures. To nominate, simply pick the one you like the most and leave a message on my "comment" page. just type the letter of the nomination that you like and leave your name. Thanks!

a 45 mins trip back into time

just came back from batam with the terzetto friends of mine.. wonderful trip. it was the first time i ever went to indonesia and everything there is so laid back. the lifestyle, the culture, and the infrastructure as well. xd's dad said it was like singapore in the 1950s.

a 45 min ferry ride from harbourfront took us south to batam town center where we first went for a steamboat lunch, trying out different methods to drown our food which had smiley faces on them. later on was onto shopping and more shopping! the foodstuff there were really cheap so we ended up buying more than we needed, not like zhang jin would mind, and the beer there was also dirt cheap, at about S$1.10 a can! too bad i was sick so i didn't drink a drop. but other than food, it seems we could get nothing else, cos there wasn't really much for us to buy actually.

the girls on the other hand manage to get attracted to some things as they were shocked at the prices for hair washing. a mere S$4 (i shall stick to sing dollars as in indonesian rupiah, that would have been Rp 20,000). so it was one of the die die things that they must do. we took in a lot of snacks as well, J.Co donuts being one of them. we bought something like 3 dozens of it and that was for the guys alone! but 2 dozen of them were home bound. bags in our hands we took the shuttle bus back to our villas where we spent the rest of the night away, with crab for our dinner, beer for the fun, and cards for killing time.


kevin about to kiss the crab

we headed out to an island opposite out villa the next morning, an island called penawar rindu. it's a very laid back island, totally different from batam island and for the first time, i found a place that had no cars at all!! not a single one of them!! it was all just bikes, motor cycles and rickshaws. the people there made their living by either fishing, commerce, or getting people around on their rickshaws. we took a ride on the rickshaw, visiting all the neighbourhoods, seeing how the people lived there.


early morning boat ride with sunshine in our eyes


the jetty on Pulau Penawar Rindu


the village scene

the huge rich poor gap was very evident. among the villages were some more modern and sturdy concrete buildings, the wooden ones surrounding it. bridges were also made of planks of wood nailed firmly together and this has deteroriated over the years. but it was a really idyllic place, scenery was different from those i got from singapore so though it wasn't great, it was a welcomed difference. and to see how those people live there, i learnt once again how fortunate i am to live in singapore. cos we were once in their state too, 50 years ago and if it wasn't for good governace and foresight, we wouldn't be able to make it to what we are today.

i'll probably go back again soon. to give away some of the stuff i don't use to the poorer villages there. it has been an eye opener indeed. across the straits, you see the skyline of singapore with all the majestic buildings. yet from where i was, i looked around and the people had little but were happy. and if i could just give them a little more, imagine what happiness they would feel?

Wednesday, January 03, 2007


thank you dear all

it's so nice to receive messages from my friend in the morning, asking how i am, whether my fever is still hovering around boiling point, whether i'm shivering. it's just so comforting to know that, yes, there are people who are actually concerned and care for my well being.

just this morning (or was it yesterday?), i don't know, you can never really keep track of the time when you are ill, i received 3 messages from 3 different people asking about my condition. it's really heartwarming really. even though it did wake me up, but yeah, i didn't mind it one bit. and it was not only today (i just checked, it was today), but yesterday as well, where a couple of friends messaged me to asked as well.

i just want these friends to know that they will always be treasured and that they can always depend on me in their time of need. of course, this extends out to all friends, not only the ones that message. after all, i really do treasure my friends a lot, and will help them in anyway i can.

here's to a better 2007 for all of us!

on the self, i hereby place myself

who am i kidding?
you're still the one i miss and love
no matter how i try to deceive my mind
nothing deceives the heart
but knowing that you will never accept me again
makes it all the more painful
so foolish i was to be honest
so stupid i was not knowing how to treasure
what i have before i lose it
for good

on the shelf, i hereby place myself.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007


it's not fun not knowing how you feel

i can't decide if i'm hot or cold.
my feet are shivering
yet my body is sweating
if i put on a jacket
i'll just be perspiring
i can't decide if i'm hot or cold

if i put on my socks
it's a hassle to the toilet
yet without them
my feet just feel chilly
i can't decide if i'm hot or cold

drinking water is good for me
yet peeing isn't much fun
especially in the dark
fumbling to the toilet
while deciding if i'm hot or cold.

boy don't you just hate having fevers?

Monday, January 01, 2007


a random post (part 1: birthdays)

To-Do List

Dear Derrick,

These are your new year's resolution, even though everyone on Earth knows you aren't gonna keep half of it.

1) Be more Christ like and a good example to unbelievers of what Christianity is all about.

2) Come to a decision to either forget or get Karen back.
moving on, just moving on (28 Jan 07)

3) Be less hot tempered

4) Shed less tears over Karen. She doesn't know about them anyway.
i cry lesser with the wonderful friends i have around me. (28 Jan 07)

5) Get at least one distinction for my current subjects.

6) Try as many coconut products as possible.

7) Eat as much junk food and drink as much as i can. i could die, but at least i die happy.




Wish me luck, and do pray for me.

alcohol and its amazing ability to pour out your heart's worries

looking back at the year,
i couldn't hold back the tears.
a roller coaster of emotions.
plentiful breakdowns.
then finally, redemption.

it started off with thoughts of "unhappiness",
thought i wasn't satisfied with my relationship
thought i could change her,
but never realising changing her is wrong.
to accept her for what she is,
is the meaning of true love.

a catologue of errors,
a glorious mistake.
all for a love that had
my conscience pressed
between the pages of the bible.

yet it was the bible
that given me direction
that given me hope
that led me to redemption.

all these while
i was staring at redemption
hidden in the landscape
of loss and love
and fire and rain

and i felt grace running over
and love both from God
and the friends around
it was overwhelming.
i really am grateful.
blessed indeed.

but it is only so much
that can make me feel complete
the void you left,
irreplaceable.
it's back to the same old question
shall i wait?
should i move on?

God, give me strength
to overcome all the obstacles
you have laid out for me in 2007
and be still my vision.